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Long lines at SeaTac, congestion on I-5 and arriving to Eastern Washington to realize you left the holiday gifts at home in Western Washington — the holidays can send your stress levels to record highs.
There are ways to manage holiday-related stress when it starts to build so you can regain a sense of calm — here’s where to start.
4 ways to prevent your holiday stress from climbing
Taking steps to prepare for stressful situations can prevent your stress levels from reaching unmanageable levels. Try these tips before the stressful event (or at the start, when you feel the stress building).
Plan ahead
“If you anticipate entering into highly stressful situations, create a plan ahead of time for how you will cope with that stress, then visualize yourself doing so to make it easier for you take action in the moment,” says Adam Kuczynski, PhD, a clinical psychologist and acting assistant professor at the University of Washington School of Medicine.
The hope is that you can minimize the chance that you’re caught off guard with overwhelming stress and anxiety.
Check in with your body
Kuczynski says that your body and your mind are great barometers for stress. This means that the first step to preventing anxiety from spiraling is to notice what comes up in your body when, say, your sibling forgets to bring the side dishes (again).
“What are your own personal markers for stress?” says Kuczynski. “Do you clench your jaw? Does your breathing change? Do you start to sweat? What does your mind do as your stress increases?”
Also, notice if you’re selectively attuned to some things (or people) and not others, if you’re thinking less flexibly than you normally do or if your thoughts get cloudy.
“Knowing these markers of stress will allow you to notice more subtle changes as stress ramps up,” Kuczynski says.
Identify what’s bothering you
Ask yourself: How bad would it be if the worst outcome did happen (for example, missing your flight or not having sides at the dinner table)? Is your mind blowing it out of proportion?
“If the feared outcome does occur, having a concrete plan for how you would cope with it can also help to reduce stress,” says Kuczynski. “Think about what you would say, where you would go and when you would make those decisions.”
Remind yourself of your values and your goals
If your stress is rising because of a, well, spirited conversation at the dinner table, Kuczynski says to remember why you want to be around your family or friends during the holidays in the first place.
“We are becoming increasingly accustomed to communicating with people with similar beliefs and opinions as ours and arguably worse at tolerating more diverse opinions,” says Kuczynski. “Focus on your values and how you wish to relate to your loved ones”.
Being centered in your personal, ethical and moral values as you interact with friends and family can help you navigate stressors as they arise.
3 ways to manage your holiday stress at its peak
It happens — sometimes you’re too busy taking care of what needs to be done to notice your stress level rising until it’s at its peak. Luckily, there are still ways to find your inner calm and recenter.
Take a break
Excuse yourself from the situation if possible. Kuczynski suggests going to the bathroom and splashing some cold water on your face or doing five push-ups and then taking a moment to connect with what’s important to you.
Finally, breathe
It sounds cliché, but it works.
When you get anxious, your body’s sympathetic nervous system — aka your fight or flight response — is activated, and your breathing increases to accommodate your body’s request for more oxygen.
“Slowing down your breathing has been demonstrated experimentally to reduce anxiety, tension and the body’s sympathetic response,” says Kuczynski.
Use this exercise: Make your exhale longer than your inhale by breathing in for four seconds, then exhaling for four seconds.
Remind yourself that the stress is temporary
This likely isn’t the first similarly stressful situation you’ve been in before. As frustrating as it can be to deal with delayed travel plans, family drama or hosting, it will eventually come to an end, and you can treat yourself to some more intentional post-holiday R&R.
“Remind yourself that you can, and have, tolerated stress before, and that you can do it again,” Kuczynski says.
