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You’re not completely in denial. You know that you (and the people you love) are going to grow older. You understand that your joints may feel creakier, your memory might get foggy around the edges and your identity — formerly defined by your career, your family or your various extracurricular activities — may begin to shift.
And let’s face it: changes that make you question your whole identity, well, that’s a lot to deal with. So, it makes sense that as you age, your mental health may suffer. And it's not just about the new physical changes that affect everyday movements; it’s also about the reality of coming face-to-face with your new role in society as an older person and making peace with the passing of time.
Here are some tips for keeping tabs on your mental health as you age and strategies that can help when you’re feeling down in the dumps.
How is mental health connected to aging?
You’ve probably heard plenty about the cognitive disorders that can occur as you age (things like dementia, Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s), but what about the mental health conditions, especially depression, that can pop up? Luckily, people are finally starting to talk about those as well. After all, folks in their 60s and 70s (and beyond) experience depression and other issues, and the root of those problems can be different than those of younger folks.
“Mental health directly affects quality of life, and a good quality of life involves maintaining a sense of meaning, purpose for living and hope, which are really core factors that help people age well,” says Douglas Lane, PhD, a geriatric psychologist and clinical professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at University of Washington School of Medicine.
Which is why it’s all the more important to take a closer look at your mental health as you age, so you can identify any emerging problems and address them head-on.
The issues that come with aging
You go through a lot of changes as you grow older — physically, emotionally and mentally. Some of the big reasons that people start to experience mental distress as they age include the following:
Your body no longer acts the way it used to
Those creaky joints we talked about earlier? Oh, they’re very real. And they may start holding you back from the things you love to do. Some other common problems include arthritis, vision changes, hearing loss and incontinence. More serious medical problems, especially the ones that cause pain, can also be a new (and not so fun) aging challenge. They can also tilt the scales toward experiencing emotional distress.
Your identity and where you “fit” starts to shift
“The key transition from midlife to later life involves a shift from generating or producing things, to reflecting on the meaning of life as a whole,” says Stephen Thielke, MD, a professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at University of Washington School of Medicine and a geriatric psychiatrist at Garvey Institute Center for Neuromodulation.
So, if you're used to finding your purpose and identity through being productive and working, you might struggle to find meaning post-retirement. On top of that, if work was also your social network, then you may feel even more lonely when that situation changes.
Plus, looking back at your life and the things you accomplished — or the things you didn’t quite get to — can be eye-opening and even stressful. Talking through those feelings and the meaning of the life you’ve lived (so far) can be paramount to finding comfort and acceptance.
You have to deal with all kinds of loss
Obviously, the loss of a life partner can have a huge impact on mental health, as can the loss of friends and family. Something else that can really hurt? The loss of culture. That kind of loss can happen when the things and people you grew up loving — like certain musicians, television shows and actors — start to die off and disappear, making you feel like part of your personal and cultural history is erased.
Signs of mental distress in older folks
As you age, there are a few things to look out for if you’re wondering whether you are, in fact, struggling with a mental health issue like depression.
Changes in mood
“If someone has a prolonged depressed mood, develops low energy, and has trouble concentrating, trouble sleeping or weight loss, they may have developed major depression,” says Thielke.
Fatigue or loss of energy
Lane emphasizes how important it is to notice any physical changes.
“If an older person starts having what appears to be medical changes, like fatigue, sometimes that’s a manifestation of depression,” says Lane. “These things could be medical for sure, but they can also reflect an emotional or depressive episode.”
On the other hand, sometimes a lack of energy could be something else, so it’s important to talk to your doctor if it persists. You might be experiencing “medical mimics,” which are medical disorders that produce symptoms that can look like a mental health issue when they are, in fact, a medical problem that your doctor should check out. For example: You might think your loss of energy is because of depression, but it could really be a heart problem or anemia.
Changes in interaction with others
You should take note if you're withdrawing from activities (especially if you’re generally social) and if you no longer feel like showing up for gatherings with family and friends. These feelings, along with feeling like you no longer have a purpose, can be a sign that something is wrong.
Suicidal thoughts
If you are thinking about dying a lot, or of harming yourself or others in some way, whether that's through suicide or not taking care of yourself, then you need to call the doctor, go to the closest emergency room or call 988, which is the national mental health crisis counseling hotline.
How to take care of your mental health as you age
Ok, so maybe you’re recognizing some of these telltale signs of mental distress in yourself. So, what now? Though there is no easy solution when it comes to these things, there are some very simple but effective steps you can take:
Check in regularly with someone you trust
That sounds easy enough, but you’ll need to start by figuring out the best person to speak to — whether that’s a family member, good friend, faith leader or doctor. Just make sure it’s someone you feel comfortable being vulnerable with.
And when you are speaking to someone about your struggles, make sure to be really honest with yourself and with them about how you’re feeling. That’s the only way you’ll be able to come up with solutions to make the situation better.
Make sure you visit your doctor regularly
Make an effort to see your doctor and talk to them about any concerns. According to Lane, it's not uncommon for your family doctor to be the first one to notice a mental health issue. You might go in because you just feel generally terrible, and the doctor can then refer you to get support if it’s necessary. There are plenty of avenues to help you feel better, including medications and psychotherapy. You don’t have to just suffer in silence.
Don’t forget exercise and healthy eating
This goes along with the regular visits to the doctor but also includes things like ensuring you are getting enough fresh air and exercise plus eating healthfully.
Have your finances in order
This is a really important one, especially considering that a significant percentage of people over 65 live at or near the poverty line. You should be able to pay your bills and afford essentials. These basic things can really impact a person’s mental health and quality of life, so make sure that your needs are being taken care of — or if they’re not, ask for help finding a program that can assist you (they’re out there).
Be social
Often, something as simple as not having a ride can prevent you from meeting up with friends for a cherished brunch or a Bingo night. Again, there are solutions (rideshares, community resources, veterans' organizations, generous friends) that can help get you back to your activities. That connection is essential for maintaining good mental health, so make sure to reach out if you’re encountering barriers.
“It's important to stay involved and engaged — any structured or group activity will be beneficial,” says Thielke. “Many programs exist for lifelong learning and other activities, such as book groups and walking clubs, but many people don’t know about these."
Activities that are gentle on the joints, like Tai Chi and yoga classes, are also great, as are games like Bridge and Rummy that keep brains sharp. Being social is what matters — older folks have social needs that younger people can’t always meet, so being together is key.
But also, loved ones are so important. Engaging with family and core relationships is invaluable for older people and plays an important role in keeping you feeling mentally well.
Volunteer
Even if you do want to get involved, sometimes finding how to become part of something is difficult. If you're having trouble navigating the volunteer world, ask a loved one (or just a kind person) to help you research and find cool organizations that are supportive of older volunteers. Many local nonprofits, like your neighborhood food bank, could use an extra hand.
The future is bright
And just remember — though age can bring aches, pains and fluctuating emotions and feelings, it can also bring an unbelievable amount of insight and wisdom that you don’t have when you’re younger.
“When you are 25, it is difficult to imagine being 80, but 80-year-olds will remember their youth and all the years in between,” says Thielke. “Older people give us the most valuable insights about aging and life, and I feel lucky to have talked with a lot of them over the years.”
