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You know that sex feels good. And maybe you’ve heard that it’s good for you, too — like how it can relieve stress or even help maintain your heart health.
But did you know that having an orgasm, specifically, is good for your health? Or that there are many kinds of orgasms? Here’s exactly why orgasms are healthy, plus what’s going on in your body and brain when you have one.
And for those who struggle to orgasm … don’t worry, we’ve got you and have some tips you can try.
The lowdown on the big O
You may think an orgasm is just muscle contractions and a release of tension, but it’s so much more than that.
“Orgasm is basically your brain’s reward system going into overdrive,” says Nicole McNichols, PhD, an associate teaching professor at the University of Washington and author of the book You Could Be Having Better Sex. “In the seconds leading up to and through orgasm, more than two dozen brain regions activate together.”
When you have an orgasm, your brain releases dopamine and oxytocin, two feel-good chemicals that amplify each other. Your brain also makes and releases its own natural opioids, called endorphins (the same thing that gets released when you exercise).
While this is all happening, brain regions tied to fear, self-monitoring and anxiety — primarily the amygdala and prefrontal cortex — may not activate as much, according to some research; this can help you feel more relaxed. Levels of cortisol, a stress hormone, may also decrease.
Another cool thing? An orgasm involves many areas of the brain, not just the sensory cortex. It can even occur without input from the spinal cord, which is why some people with spinal cord injuries can still experience orgasms.
“So physiologically, it’s not one single event but rather a brief, coordinated surge across chemical, circuit and sensory systems, all working together to produce one of the most intense whole-body experiences the brain can generate,” McNichols says.
The health benefits of having an orgasm
Having regular orgasms isn’t some cure-all for the problems that ail you (as anyone who’s had makeup sex with a partner can attest to). There are some wild claims on the internet, but the truth is that there are three things multiple studies have proved orgasm can help with: insomnia, anxiety and pain.
Better sleep
The hormone prolactin spikes after an orgasm, which can help you feel tired, fall asleep more quickly and sleep more deeply. Increased feel-good hormones, plus a decrease in cortisol, can help you feel less stressed before bed, which can make insomnia less likely.
Reduced pain
That release of your brain’s natural opioids? Just like prescription opioids, they can help relieve pain (without the potential for unwanted side effects).
“One study found 60% of people with migraines reported moderate to complete relief after orgasm, and it’s been documented to help with cluster headaches and menstrual cramps too,” McNichols says.
Lessened anxiety
The release of endorphins, oxytocin and dopamine, paired with the reduction in cortisol, can help you feel less anxious.
Another positive? It doesn’t matter if your orgasm is with a partner or if you’re going it solo — it’s all just as healthy.
Yes, there are multiple kinds of orgasms
Thinking that an orgasm is one specific thing — vaginal or penile muscle contractions — is so 2010. In fact, research has shown that there are different kinds of orgasm, including:
Vaginal orgasm: People often describe this kind of orgasm as “deeper, more diffuse, slower-building and longer-lasting — less a spike, more a wave,” McNichols says. G-spot stimulation (an area on the front wall of the vagina) contributes to this type of orgasm, and deeper stimulation near the cervix can, too.
Clitoral orgasm: This type of orgasm is often described as “sharp, localized, electric and quick to build and fade,” McNichols says. To experience one, you need to stimulate the clitoris, either directly or indirectly (through the clitoral hood).
Blended orgasm: Depending on how you’re having sex, you could experience more than one type of orgasm at once. “This type tends to get rated as the most intense of all, likely because you’re layering multiple nerve pathways firing into the brain at the same time,” McNichols says.
Penile and prostate orgasm: Having a penile orgasm may seem straightforward, but it’s actually a complex bodily process that requires nerves and blood vessels working in coordination. A penile orgasm involves stimulating the penis (and there are lots of ways to do that). For a prostate orgasm, you can either stimulate the prostate through anal penetration or through stimulating the perineum — the tissue between the genitals and anus — on the outside of the prostate.
Other erogenous zones, such as the nipples, testes and anus, can also contribute to orgasm when stimulated. Some (lucky) people can orgasm from thought and fantasy alone.
And if you have a vagina, you’re in luck: It’s easier for you to have successive orgasms within a short period of time. Women and people with a vagina usually don’t have a refractory period, like men and people with a penis do, where they’re unable to orgasm for minutes to hours.
So while it might take a little more creativity to reach orgasm if you have a vagina (more on that in a minute), it also might be an even more pleasurable, intense experience.
What to do if you struggle to orgasm
No type of orgasm is better or worse than others. Some people may notice that different orgasms feel different, while other people might not be able to distinguish between them.
But if you’re having trouble reaching orgasm at all, it could be due to a variety of factors, the most common being a health condition or a need to better understand your body and what works for you.
Address physical health issues
A plethora of health conditions and medications can contribute to sexual dysfunction.
Some of the most notable? In men and people with a penis, erectile dysfunction can happen to people of any age, and one of the lesser-known reasons is due to underlying heart issues. So if you’re dealing with ED, make sure to talk with a doctor, because that conversation could quite literally be lifesaving.
Pain during sex and hormonal shifts before and during menopause can also contribute to sexual dysfunction and should be brought up to a doctor, too.
Consider the role mental health is playing
Another major contributor to difficulty having an orgasm? Mental health issues — and mental health medications, particularly selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). This can happen to people of all genders.
If you’re stressed, depressed or have experienced trauma, reaching orgasm (or even just finding sex enjoyable) can be more difficult. It’s important to treat your mental health issues, but if you think an SSRI or another medication you’re taking is contributing to trouble in the bedroom, ask your doctor about it.
Just as practicing mindfulness can help relieve anxiety, it can also help you loosen up and focus on what you’re feeling in your body, rather than what you think you should feel.
Improve communication and exploration in the bedroom
If you’ve seen a doctor and all is OK health-wise, it could be that you just haven’t found what works for you. That’s why communication and exploration in the bedroom is so important, if you have a partner. A key sign of a healthy relationship is being able to talk openly with your partner about what works and what doesn’t.
Let’s address the elephant in the room, too: Because our society often prioritizes men’s pleasure, straight men (and even some straight women) may not realize that it can take more creativity and communication to create an opportunity for a woman to reach orgasm.
“The gap shrinks dramatically in lesbian relationships, largely because those encounters involve more oral sex and direct clitoral stimulation, whereas heterosexual encounters tend to prioritize penetrative penis-in-vagina sex, which isn’t an especially effective way for most women to orgasm — only about 18% of women can reliably orgasm that way,” McNichols says.
(We see you, sapphics.)
Masturbate
There’s nothing shameful about a little sexy self-care. And increasingly, people (especially younger generations) are getting it on alone to relieve stress, improve sleep and learn more about their bodies (even research confirms this, McNichols says).
“People who masturbate regularly tend to have an easier time orgasming with a partner too, because they’ve already learned what works for their own body,” she says.
Try a vibrator
Whether you’re single or partnered, bringing a vibrator or another sex toy into the bedroom can be a fun way to spice things up and experiment with different forms of pleasure.
“Vibrators increase clitoral blood flow more effectively than manual stimulation and are linked to improvements in arousal, orgasm intensity and satisfaction,” McNichols says.
Be patient with yourself
If you’re having trouble or experimenting with ways to orgasm, it might not happen the first time, or the second, or the third. That’s OK. You’re learning about what you like and don’t like, and what feels good. That’s the most important thing.
“The most encouraging thing I can say is that this is genuinely learnable for most people. It’s not a fixed trait you either have or don’t,” says McNichols.
And if it’s still taking a while or happening too fast, that’s OK, too; there’s no need to judge yourself.
The climax
Having an orgasm is great — but so is learning about your body and, if you’re partnered up, sharing an intimate connection with your boo that goes beyond mere physical sensations.
Learning more about the different types of orgasms and how to have them more often is good for your health, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself. At the end of the day, there’s a whole lot more going on between the sheets than whether or not you orgasm — and that’s a good thing.
“The more sex becomes a task you’re trying to complete, the harder orgasm often gets to reach,” McNichols says. “Taking the pressure off and treating orgasm as a possible outcome of pleasure, rather than the required proof that the sex ‘worked,’ tends to make people more relaxed, more present, and, if anything, more likely to get there anyway.”
